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30 November 2010 @ 07:54 pm
It is awesome
I like people coming to me for advice
I won't say who (cause it was like, in confidence or some shit like that. Whatever, I ain't tellin')
Just wanted to say that it was fuckin' awesome.
Current Mood: giddygiddy
09 November 2010 @ 07:00 pm
So squishy and fun <3 I love 'em
By the way, this doesn't mean that I am going to start wearing shirts, still hate em.
Tags: , ,
Current Mood: giddygiddy
28 October 2010 @ 04:05 pm
So I have been feeling pretty good lately, still stuck on Kakuzu's couch cause he's a fuckin' prude and wont share his bed with me for some reason, which I think I am going to talk to him about. Totally not takin' no for an answer anymore. Oh, and I have been having less fucked up dreams, I think sleepin' with Kuzu's pillow helps, I mean it smells like him and it is really relaxing. Oh, and I have stopped trying to wash off my tattoos like a retard!
Oh, and Ten, I know you've been bitchin' bout the straight:gay ratio and I am slightly to blame since I took one of the straight guys and converted him. That's right people, the gay is contagious!

Also, some things I found on the interwebs while I ACTUALLY WASN'T looking for porn! (I know, a shocker right?)Collapse )
16 October 2010 @ 02:44 pm
So this morning I looked in the mirror and saw some dark shit on my neck, and was like "fuck, did I sleep on a marker again"
So I start scrubbin' in and I can't tell why it ain't comin' off until finally I remember that I have a fuckin' tattoo there and that is what I had been scrubbin' at for the last 15 minutes.
repeat with one of the tattoos on my wrist.
Now my wrist and neck feel raw...

I don't wanna tell Kuzu bout it cause I have a feelin' that he is going to give me that 'you're an idiot' look.
I guess I am just useless when I'm half asleep.

But I guess my tattoos are useful sometimes. I don't have to do that L thing with my hand to remember which side is left, and which side is right.
My rosary is on the left and Kuzu's mark is on my right... or... is it the other way around? 
Now I'm confused...

Oh, and for people who wanted to know what I was doing for that week I was gone.

And that is how I beat the mafia.
Current Location: in pain, that's where I am.
Current Mood: tiredtired
So I have known about this song for a long time, but I thought I would post it now <3
This is for you Anko, I love ya, ya crazy bitch
(BTW, the album is called "banned on Vulcan")

02 October 2010 @ 07:39 pm
Ok, this entire week was HELL!
I had to go to my old town and pick up some of my shit... IT. FUCKING. SUCKED.
I had to go to my old landlord and pick up some of the shit I still had in my storage unit and the motherfucker had the balls to ask for 'one more' for 'old times sake'. I don't care about 'old times sake' I want nowhere near your ugly ass ever again. I'm not 16 anymore, and I don't need a place to sleep for the night.
And then I had to pick up some shit from old 'coworkers' and funny thing... a lot of them are behind bars... that was awkward... I would have talked to my old boss but... well... he has a gun and I am fairly sure that he is still mad at me... so no.
Got some tattoos wile I was there. They are fuckin' bitchen!
But today totally made all of that shit worth it. I am beyond happy.

[private to Kakuzu/hackable]
I fucking love you.
I love your scars.
I love your bitchy attitude.
I love your paintings (even though I wish you would stop doing them whenever we are having a nice moment you bastard!)
I love your voice.
I love your body.
I love that look you have for when I am acting stupid.
I love our talks.
I love our arguments.
I love that look on your face when you are concentrating.
I love your kisses.
I love your touches.
I don't love how much of a fuckin' prude you are.
I love you but please stop using big words. they confuse the hell outta me.
I love all of ya.
And when you said those three words to me my heart fuckin' melted... I love you, you son of a bitch.
Current Location: Finally home.
24 September 2010 @ 11:37 pm

See the font? That is how I have been feeling all this week!
I have slept like a fuckin' baby, no weird dreams, no nightmares, nuthin'!
It was amazing! 

I am happy, and I have some stuff to do.

There isn't a more beautiful color then dark blue.
Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic
16 September 2010 @ 12:39 pm
I have decided that I am just going to stop sleeping.
No more.
I'm done with it...................................................
I won't do it...

So I have been drinking a lot of coffee, and red bulls, and those 5 hour energy things. I am not going back to sleep. Nope. Never again. I don't wanna.
I have gone three days already, I can do this, no problem...
It is getting harder, but I don't want to sleep.
I don't know why the stupid fucking dreams had to come back, they wont leave me alone, every time I close my eyes I can see it, and hear it...
They had gone away.
I didn't have to worry anymore... I thought that they finally stopped...
Now they are more vivid than ever. I can... SEE everything that happened... I is like I am reliving it all... I don't want to... I feel like I am in a fuckin' Freddy Kruger film... I feel like if I stay asleep I am going to die...
Sleeping in the church doesn't even help anymore... I am at my limit... I cant dream about this anymore... bad things will happen...
the caffeine isn't working as well anymore... my hands are shaking, and I cant sit still... or think right... I can hear my heart beating in my head... I don't want those dreams anymore... every time I close my fucking eyes I can see the blood... I can hear him crying... I CAN FUCKING FEEL IT HAPPENING!
I don't want to go to sleep...
Current Location: Church...
Current Mood: scaredscared
11 September 2010 @ 08:37 pm
So, I am going to my mother's family reunion (which I was not invited to) and I am going to cut every fuckin' tie that I have to the miserable bitch.
I plan to make this the most embarrassing moment of her life, any ideas?
She hates anything that isn't normal, and reeeeeeeeeally hates the gays.
I plan on outing myself in front of the entire family, but that doesn't feel like enough...

Kuzu I fuckin' love you (no homo) for helping me out with some of this shit already.

Ah, childhood~
Remember back in the day when your cartoons made references to fingering pop stars?
Now you do!

Current Mood: bouncybouncy
30 August 2010 @ 03:16 pm
Ok, before I start I want to tell Sasuke and Itachi to keep your comments about my intelligence out of this.

So I was talkin' to someone a while ago and I remembered that I have never come out to my mother. This ain't that big of a deal, but it makes me think about just how fucked up my relationship with her is.
I mean, for most of my childhood she dyed my hair brown because she didn't like that I wasn't normal.
Fuck, the nurses at the hospital that I went to were more maternal.
At 16 I ran the fuck away from home just to get away from the crazy bitch.
And now that she is back in contact with me all she does it berate me with question after question about if I am a druggy, is my hair white, what is my job, do I HAVE a job, and shit like that.
What I want to know is why the fuck I cant seem to cut all ties with her?
She is obviously a horrible person, and I hate her guts, so why the fuck do I pick up the phone when she calls? 
What is so wrong with me that I keep going back for the abuse? 

I just wanted to see if this made any sense to anyone else.
Current Mood: confusedconfused